In "No More Perfect Moms" by Jill Savage one of the first areas of a mom/woman's life that she covers is No More Perfect Kids and this chapter sure spoke to me a lot! Not to far in the chapter I read this:
"Their imperfections are not a reflection of you. You can't "control" them into perfection...... The most beautiful thing you can offer them if your imperfect self who does her best to handle their imperfections with love and grace."
Ahhhhhh, insert a huge sigh of relief.
My one year old throws extreme temper tantrums , my 3 year old doesn't listen well and talks back a lot, and most days if I let myself I feel like I have completely failed as a mom because they don't act how I "feel" they should. I can easily look at other moms and compare my kids to theirs and wonder how/why theirs behave so well and mine are out of control.
Something I have learned is that I need to have expectations but I also need to expect for my boys to fail. My boys are not perfect and never will be, it just doesn't exist.
This chapter made me think about when the "mommy monster" comes out and I realized so many times I turn into the "mommy monster" when they don't act as if I think they should, when they drop their sippy cup on the floor after I have just mopped, when Noah talks to loud while Carson is napping, when water gets out of the tub. I expect way to much out of them and in my disappointment, I mess up and turn into someone I don't want to be.
This week I want to focus on those times I turn into the "mommy monster" and to be more aware of how it happens and I'm sure the majority of the time I am going to realize the problem isn't my boys, it's my unrealistic expectations. Then in those moments I want to show them love and grace instead of anger and yelling.
In case you haven't signed up for the January No More Perfect Moms Email Challenge, it's not too late you can still sign up
here and I highly recommend it, there have been some awesome emails!
Here is one from January 8th on No More Perfect Kids, good, good stuff!
Day 8
“You know, motherhood has caused me to come face to face with my less-than-wonderful qualities. Sometimes my kids bring out the worst in me. However, God doesn’t waste a thing. He uses my kids to bring me to Him. When I come face to face with my shortcomings, my weaknesses, and my sin, it’s a reminder of my need for a God who wants me to be more like Him each and every day.” –Jill Savage, NO MORE PERFECT MOMS
Motherhood brings with it a wide range of emotions. It’s amazing the different feelings our kids can arouse in us in the course of one day. Joy, frustration, love, and anger can all bombard us in the span of an hour. With the wide range of emotions, it’s easy to feel like a failure when our words or actions don’t match up with the love we have for our children.
Our kids seem to learn from an early age how to push our buttons, making us want to raise the white flag of surrender and shout, “I can’t do this!” We can’t do this on our own, but things are possible with God’s help. Yes, raising kids is messy, and many times we fail, letting our emotions get the best of us. However, with God’s grace, we can learn from our failures and become more like our Creator in the process.
Challenge: The next time you let your emotions take control, take a minute to honestly apologize to your kids. Admit that you failed and ask for their forgiveness. Not only will you be setting a positive example on how to handle imperfections, you’ll draw closer to your child and your God in the process.
Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. Ephesians 4:32.
